FAQ

🌊 FREQUENTLY ASKED TRANSMISSIONS (FAQs)  

// Official Communications from Velthari Central 

1. IS THIS FABRIC LEGAL ON EARTH?  

All Velthari textiles have passed Galactic Trade Standard #7 (GTS-7) and Earth’s oddly specific ‘no sentient fabric’ laws. However, we cannot guarantee it won’t…attract attention. 

2. HOW LONG UNTIL MY ORDER REACHES MY PLANET?  

Orders woven on TRAPPIST-1e take 3-5 Earth days to breach the hydro-void. Delays occur if our delivery eels are lethargic (or rebellious).  

3. DO YOU ACCEPT INTERGALACTIC CURRENCY?  

We accept Earth credits (USD), and rare seashells from TRAPPIST-1e’s shores (just kidding… unless?).  

-4. WHAT IF MY GARMENT STARTS GLOWING AT NIGHT? 

Congratulations! You’ve activated its bioluminescent weave. This is normal. (Tip: Charge it under UV light for maximum radiance.)  

5. CAN I RETURN IT IF IT DOESN’T FIT MY SPECIES?  

Yes—within 14 Earth rotations. But be warned: Velthari sizing runs emotionally adaptable. If it feels ‘too snug,’ it’s probably just hugging your aura.  

6. ARE THE VELTHARI REAL?  

Define ‘real. We prefer ‘hyper-advanced. But yes, our weavers are 100% organic (or at least 78%).  

7. WHY DOES MY SHIRT WHISPER?"**  

It’s either:  

- The embedded hydro-acoustic thread reacting to humidity.*  

-A Velthari weaver checking in.  

Do not answer after midnight.  

 

8. HOW DO I JOIN THE PASSPORT PROGRAM?  

Spend $100+ and you’ll receive a Velthari immigration kit with your order. (P.S. Higher tiers get access to classified merch drops.) 

 

9. CAN I WASH THIS IN EARTH WATER?  

Yes, but for longevity, we recommend:  

- Hand-wash in moonlight-charged water(optional). 

-Air-dry under a pyramid (kidding… unless it works).

 

10. WHAT’S YOUR CARBON FOOTPRINT? 

Negative. Our hydro-looms run on tidal energy and existential dread (just kidding—it’s 100% renewable).